Wash the dishes, wash the dishes; The Christmas dinner dishes; Three generations in the kitchen all at once (Hawksley Workman, 3 Generations) My mother was the keeper of our family rituals. Fiercely independent and proud of her amazing turkey dinner timed just right, she would never accept help from us, her two adult daughters. She took complete responsibility for…
My 17-year-old son Jacksen bounded out of his room this morning, fresh out of bed, greeting us without a hello or good morning but instead straight-up yelling, “That’s it! I’m not staying in this house today! I’m going out! And I don’t care what anybody says right now!”Did I say, “No you are not! You…
Anytime I am working with the parents of adolescents, I am always excited to share insight about the pivotal concept of “counterwill” in the context of healthy development. Understanding this concept can make a tremendous difference in understanding our teenagers, especially when we feel confused or worried about their tendency to push back. First coined…
When the roots are deep, we need not fear the wind. I’ve been thinking a lot about this saying, and what it means to me as the parent of two adolescent children. When it comes to our children, ‘the wind’ can take many forms in our lives, both real and imagined. Certainly, the kids and…
Spring is finally here in many parts of the world. It is a season of new growth, new possibilities, fresh hopes, and, for many species: a mating season! Nature comes alive with the sounds of mating calls, puffed-up chests, colourful plumage meant to attract a mate, hormones and pheromones floating in the air, and battles…
As we move into September and back into the swing of school routines, homework, and after-school activities, I often remind parents to be extra sensitive to the presence of the ‘overlies’ in their children. I use the term ‘overly’ to refer to the state of being over-tired, over-excited, overwhelmed, overly frustrated, over-stretched and over-the-top with…
There are many places in my life where my patience is tested and I am offered yet another opportunity to stretch towards maturity. This is definitely the case when dealing with the daily tensions between my children. They remind me of playful and rambunctious pups always ready to jump, leap, and attack! Playfulness can…
We have probably all heard the term ‘quality time’ in connection with parenting our children, for example: try to spend quality time with your child. As a Child and Youth Counsellor, I have always felt a little nervous about this concept because I fear it has misleading implications. In our busy lives, where time is…
I co-facilitate a study group of professionals who meet regularly to discuss Dr. Gordon Neufeld’s theories of attachment and development. Together we are a group of teachers, psychiatrists, social workers, counsellors, parent educators, alternative school educators, early childhood educators, and most of us parents, with a strong focus on understanding and forwarding attachment thinking. Next on our…
When my oldest child was eight-years-old, she began asking for a cell phone. It seemed like a ‘fun’ idea to her, and definitely in keeping with the times and trends of our young. They use technology in their day-to-day lives to keep in touch with each other in a multiple of ways, including social media…