Not everyone grows up as they get older. The construct of psychological immaturity is not new, but only recently has developmental science advanced to the point where the idea of developmental arrest can be spelled out and employed as a powerful explanatory tool for problems in learning and behaving. Once kids are stuck, the usual ways of dealing with behaviour - including sanctions, consequences, and time-outs - actually make things worse. This flagship course, organized around the constructs of maturation and stuckness, provides a grounding in the conceptual foundations of Dr. Neufeld's formulation of the attachment-based developmental approach.
Most problem behaviour is rooted in instinct and emotion and is therefore unresponsive to conventional forms of discipline or behaviour management. Building on the foundations of the Intensive I, this course sheds light upon the profound impact of separation on a child's personality and behavior, with special attention given to the problems of aggression, resistance, oppositionality, bullying, distractability, impulsiveness, anxiety, alarm problems, alpha problems, attachment problems, and more. When the developmental antecedents are understood, the path to effective intervention becomes clear.
The prerequisite for this course is Neufeld Intensive I: Making Sense of Kids.
Intensive III: Becoming Attached unfolds and expands the six roots of attachment and puts the focus more on adults than in the first two levels. The course is also a journey through Dr. Neufeld's earlier theoretical development which created the puzzle pieces that ultimately came together in the six roots of attachment. The Intensive III is designed not only to provide deeper theoretical understanding but also to give the opportunity for more personal integration of the material. The prerequisites for this course are Neufeld Intensive I and II.
Part I of the Power-to-Parent series focuses on the child-adult relationship as the context for raising children - how this relationship is meant to develop, what can go wrong, why parents must matter more than peers, how to cultivate a context of connection, how to win back one's child if need be, and more. Attachment-safe and developmentally friendly discipline strategies are also introduced.
Part II of the Power-to-Parent series focuses on how to help children realize their potential as human beings. Since growing older is no guarantee of growing up, knowing how to foster maturation is key to raising children. The material is presented in such a way that engages parents while educating professionals as well. The prerequisite for this course is The Vital Connection (Power to Parent I).
Part III of the Power-to-Parent series focuses on the typical challenges of parenting. Every child gets stuck from time to time on the road to maturation. Dr. Neufeld equips parents to read the signs of a child in trouble, live with a sensitive child, cultivate resilience in a child, lead an alpha child, soften a defended child, discipline a stuck child, and more. The prerequisites for this course are The Vital Connection (Power to Parent I) and Helping Children Grow Up (Power to Parent II).
The task of turning children into adults has never been more daunting. An adolescent is neither child nor adult - and therein lies much of the difficulty, turbulence, confusion, and challenge. They need us, yet need to not need us. We are their best bet, yet their instincts are to resist us.
Part II of the Adolescence course focuses on adolescence and sexuality. How is sexuality meant to develop? What is happening today that is different than in previous generations? How does sex affect the brain and bonding? In this course, Dr. Neufeld will be examining sexuality through the lenses of attachment, maturation and vulnerability. He will shed light on why adolescents are losing their timidity, why sexual interaction is on the rise, and why sexual bullying is becoming a problem. He will also explore the meaning of safe sex when viewed psychologically and provide suggestions for contributing to the healthy unfolding of sexuality in our youth.
Aggression problems are deeply rooted in instinct and emotion and are therefore resistant to conventional discipline practices. Dr. Neufeld uncovers these roots and outlines steps to addressing them. His rich professional experience with aggressive children and violent youth informs this refreshing approach to an age-old problem. The principles apply to children of all ages and all settings: home, school and treatment.
Anxiety in children is reaching epidemic proportions, as one of the most common diagnoses in children. Anxiety takes many forms, including obsessions, compulsions, phobias, and panic. Various hand-me-down strategies attempt to address this age-old problem. But anxiety begs for an explanation in order to arrive at a solution that addresses the roots, not just manages the symptoms.
There are many kinds of attention problems - most rooted in emotional and developmental dynamics. Many professionals diagnosing attention problems are experts at describing the symptoms, but come up short on explanations - without the foundational understanding of how the attention system develops, what can go wrong, and why. Knowing the nature of the problem is key to managing the symptoms and addressing the root cause.
Counterwill is the instinctive reaction of resistance to being controlled - so universal at certain stages of development that it has given rise to terms like 'terrible twos' and 'rebellious teens.' This resistance can come out as opposition, negativity, laziness, noncompliance, disrespect, lack of motivation, belligerence, incorrigibility, resistance to learning, and even antisocial attitudes and actions.
Time-out? Consequences? When dealing with children, parents and teachers often want to know what to do when. However, a larger context, including an understanding of the underlying emotions and instincts in a child, is of the utmost importance when considering how to impose order and teach responsibility. In this course, common discipline strategies are discussed in the context of what a child needs for healthy development, and attachment-safe and developmentally friendly discipline strategies are introduced.
This four-session course provides a fresh look at the causes and consequences of sensory overload in the brain and its role in a spectrum of syndromes including autism, and to a lesser extent, some forms of giftedness as well as attention problems. Uncovering this root neurological condition sets the stage for retreating from a battle against symptoms and creating a context for isolating and minimizing the resulting dysfunction. The implications for intervention are profound.
Fresh understandings of marriage come from viewing the coupling phenomenon through the lenses of attachment, emotion, and development. The implications are profound, not only for partners in their dance together, but also for the interface of their partnership with their parenting. The course has significant implications for treating couples, as well.
We encourage all interested participants of this course to first read "Reflections from Gordon on the Mystery of Coupling".
No one is more susceptible to being misunderstood than the preschooler - especially when adults are trying to rush them out of their untempered nature, inconsiderate relating, or separation problems. Making sense of these wondrous and confusing beings lays a foundation for intuitive and fruitful interaction with them, and helps us provide the conditions that are conducive to their transformation.
Resilience is a remarkable construct - an overarching metaphor that touches on the arenas of stress, neural plasticity, emotional health, recovery, healing, mental illness, adaptation, defendedness, and therapy. It is relevant to everyone in most every role and regardless of age: teachers, therapists, youth workers, parents, support workers, etc. Fresh understandings are coming to the fore as we glean more working knowledge of the brain as well as the nature of emotion. The implications for working with children are profound, never mind the implications for dealing with stress in our own lives and in the lives of our loved ones.
This advanced course explores the art and science of healing through the lens of the attachment-based developmental approach. Dr. Neufeld enhances the material with the experiences and insights gleaned from his many years of involvement as a psychotherapist. Although directed towards psychotherapists, formal training as a helping professional is not required.
A growing number of children and youth are presenting as demanding, prescriptive, bossy, and controlling. Alpha children are more challenging to parent and predisposed to a number of problems including anxiety, aggression, oppositionality, and eating problems. An understanding of the alpha dynamic opens the doors to change in the family, classroom, and society.
The content of this four-session, 5.5 hour seminar involves material that everyone involved in a child's learning should know about, as the implications for how we are approaching our children's education are quite profound, regardless of whether the child is at school or at home. This particular seminar expands on the factors involved in the home schooling advantage and how best to optimize a child's learning from home.
Transplanting children - whether the result of remarriage, adoption, parental loss, or change in custody - constitutes the most difficult challenge in raising children. Like plants, it is all about their attachment roots; unlike plants, it is a great deal more complicated. The impact of attachment disruption, even when in the best interest of the child, can be deep and profound, and yet there is a way through.
Despites civilization's advances, the human mean streak is not going away. Dr. Neufeld dissects the bully syndrome to expose its deep instinctive roots in attachment and emotion, revealing in the process why this behaviour is so immune to conventional means of intervention. The key to the bully's unmaking is to first understand how bullies are made.
Emotion, long dismissed as a nuisance factor, is now confirmed to be at the core of development and well-being. Yet little is being taught about the nature of emotion or the implications for parenting, teaching, and treatment. To make sense of emotion is to make sense of us all. There is no better way to glean insight into oneself and others than through a working knowledge of the science of emotion.
Home-based learning, also called homeschooling, is a well-established and still growing alternative to traditional classroom schools, but what does it look like from an attachment-based developmental approach? This course will look at the roles of attachment and emotion in learning and maturation, as well as the importance of rest and play in helping a child thrive and grow.
We now know that there is nothing more stressful than emotional wounding, yet evidence strongly indicates that our children’s world is becoming a more wounding place. We also know that the emotional health and well-being of our children depends upon us being able to keep them safe, yet how are we to do this when our ability to control the situations and circumstances in their lives is waning? Although our educational systems have never tried harder to reduce discrimination and bullying as well as teach empathy, these efforts are proving futile as they do not address the underlying roots of the problems. Based on new insights in developmental science, Dr. Neufeld will reveal surprising solutions to this distressing problem.
In this four-session course (available in seminar format only), Dr. Neufeld outlines the steps that need to be taken to get to emotional maturity and well-being, whether one is a child, a student or a supposed grown-up. This developmental knowledge is especially important as immaturity has become epidemic and most approaches make the mistake of attempting to address the symptoms of immaturity rather than getting at its root. This model is easy to follow, whether a parent, teacher or therapist.
This four-session course (available in seminar format only) unfolds Dr. Neufeld's brilliant breakthrough model of attachment – inspired by the physical and natural sciences and built upon the most recent understandings of the brain, emotion and development. In distilling the drive for togetherness to its essence, it expands into a comprehensive model that applies universally to every human arena where relationship exists or should exist.
Play - at least the kind that builds brains, forwards development, and serves our emotions - is becoming an endangered activity among those who need to engage in it most and this includes us as adults. The science of play reveals the mind of Nature and gets to the very heart of the developmental approach. This course serves as a prerequisite to several more advanced courses with play as the focus.
True play requires relational support. On the other hand, attachments are more easily formed while in the play mode. In addition, the capacity for relationship unfolds first in the context of true play. And once relationships are formed, they are best preserved through play. These two basic human drives were meant to serve each other in remarkable ways but require a supporting culture of customs and rituals in order to do this. The Prerequisites for this course are Play 101 and the Neufeld Intensive I.
The delicate and intricate relationship between play and emotion is key to making sense of human nature, the unfolding of human potential, culture, behaviour problems, emotional disturbance, and much more. The material offered in this course is at the cutting edge of developmental science as well as the brand new science of play. The prerequisites for this course are the Neufeld Intensive II, the Science of Emotion, and Play & Attachment.
True play is becoming endangered in our world today. Why is play important, and why is it at risk? What are the effects of digital shortcuts on development? This course builds on the material from the videocourse, Raising Children in a Digital World, and adds to it the development reasons why we need to preserve play in our children's lives.
Teaching is getting harder, not easier - even though teachers have never been more educated, technology so advanced, curriculum so refined, and pedagogy so honed. Although these factors are important, the true problem in learning lies elsewhere - in the teachability of our students. The answer to the waning teachability of students is not to teach harder, but to teach differently, harnessing the most powerful motivating force of all: attachment.
The surge of anxiety in today's society certainly begs for an explanation. To make sense of anxiety is to make sense of ourselves and vice versa. There is probably no human problem that has been more of a riddle, yet more significant. This alarm spectrum covers a vast amount of troubling territory, affecting the majority of our children and youth as well as adults. The good news is that once we understand how these syndromes come to be, we are also more informed as to how they can be reversed.
The science of relationship exists in fragmented pieces all over the empirical map: biology, sociology, embryology, ethology, epigenetics, neuroscience, psychology, medicine, and so on. We have never known more about the relational context required for parenting, teaching, and treatment. Yet this knowledge fails to inform our everyday practice and policy. This course distills the science of relationship to its essence and explores the implications for working with children.