Making Sense of Counterwill
Sessions: 4
Lecture: 3h 52m
Certificate: 8+ hrs
100 CAD
The instinct to resist being controlled or coerced is one of the most perplexing and troublesome dynamics in dealing with children and youth. This course reveals the dynamics controlling this instinct and provides suggestions for how to deal with it. This material is applicable for all those dealing with toddlers through adolescents: teachers, parents and helping professionals.
As is the case with all our courses, this course features lectures by Dr. Neufeld, carefully curated support for enriched study, study aides, the opportunity to ask questions of trained faculty or course facilitators, a year's access to the campus to enable study at one's own pace, and a certificate of attendance upon completion. For more information, consult the 'about our courses' page.
COURSE SUMMARY
Counterwill is a name for the instinctive reaction of a child to resist being controlled. This resistance can take many forms: opposition, negativism, laziness, noncompliance, disrespect, lack of motivation, belligerence, incorrigibility and even antisocial attitudes and actions. It can also express itself in resistance to learning. Despite the multitude of manifestations, the underlying dynamic is deceptively simple - a defensive reaction to felt coercion.
Counterwill is undoubtedly the most misunderstood and misinterpreted dynamic in adult-child relations. The simplicity of the dynamic is in sharp contrast to the trouble it creates - for parents, for teachers, and for anyone dealing with children. It creates a perplexing dilemma in that what is most demanded or expected from a child can become the least likely to be realized.
Although counterwill is part of human nature and its manifestation ubiquitous, awareness of this dynamic is almost non-existent due to lack of supporting language and our futile wish that this dynamic did not exist (at least in others). Understanding the role of counterwill in the development process is key to knowing how to handle it. Strategies are presented for how to handle counterwill without undermining its developmental purpose or harming the relationship.
SUITABILITY/APPLICABILITY
Given the universality of the counterwill dynamic, there is not a person or relationship that is unaffected. Parenting and teaching is profoundly impacted by this dynamic, but so are marriage partners and helping professionals. Toddlers and teens can be especially characterized by this dynamic, and so anyone dealing with them should be aware of the meaning and manifestation of this instinct. This material is suitable for a course for general audiences and as professional development for educators and for teaching assistants. An appreciation of this dynamic is absolutely essential in working with children who are difficult to manage or when dealing with children as a step-parent, foster parent, or adoptive parent.
SAMPLE TOPICS
- the purpose and meaning of counterwill in the unfolding of human potential
- how to recognize counterwill in its myriad of manifestations
- why counterwill is so strong in the alpha child
- counterwill and the diagnosis of oppositional defiance disorder
- how counterwill does double duty in serving attachment and development
- how to respect the purpose of counterwill and still impose order when required
- how mixed feelings resolve impulsive counterwill naturally
- why counterwill can be so devastating to a sense of security
- why counterwill is so characteristic of toddlers and teens
- adolescent rebellion as viewed through the lens of counterwill
- how to handle counterwill so it doesn't break the relational connection
COURSE OUTLINE
The course is structured into 4 sessions with each session including approximately one hour of instructional video by Dr. Neufeld.
- Session 1 - Why kids resist and how to deal with it
The counterwill dynamic is distilled to its essence, and in so doing, reveals our options for handling it that preserves its meaning and purpose, preserves the dignity of all, and keeps the relationship safe. - Session 2 – Counterwill and Attachment
In this session we explore how counterwill is meant to serve attachments with special attention to the profound implications for parenting and teaching. Also discussed are the special challenges in managing alpha children, peer-oriented children and step-children. - Session 3 - Counterwill and Individuation
In this session we explore how counterwill is meant to protect the development of a child's will, and how taking responsibility for this ourselves is key to defusing the resistance of a child. - Session 4 - Handling Counterwill
Effective strategies are presented that preserve the purpose of counterwill in a child's life without harming the relationship with them in the process. Included is a discussion of how to maintain the alpha posture, how to preserve the connection when faced with counterwill, and how to reduce the coercion they experience without backing away from our adult responsibility to impose some order in their life.
Inquiries
If you have questions or require additional information that you cannot find on our website or FAQ page, you may contact our office on our Inquiries page.
Charity & Non-Profit Status
The Neufeld Institute is a registered Canadian charitable organization under the name Neufeld Institute Foundation and is also registered as a NPO in British Columbia. If you would like to make a contribution to us, please go to our donation page.
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